Who is the “New Age Woman” and what does this mean for you?

Considering myself to fit within the category of a “new age woman”, Sheryl Sandburg hit home for me when she declared that we as women “can each define ambition and progress for ourselves”, and that “we must work towards a world where a woman does not yield to the expectations of her set by stereotypes that hold us back”. As a woman in her mid-thirties with great ambition for both her career, motherhood, and life’s “extra-curricular” opportunities, it got me thinking about how I actually define myself as a “new age” woman. What does it mean for me? And equally so, how do my colleagues and friends define themselves within this new paradigm?

Over hundreds of years, we’ve come to celebrate the fact that women have boldly pioneered towards equality both socially and in the workplace. We have been fighting our way up and out of a patriarchal society responsible for many of the lingering expectations and stereotypes that we still come up against today. We have come a long way since the 20th-century oppression of many basic women’s rights that we take for granted today, and each generation continues to challenge entrenched patriarchal expectations of women’s role in society.

Nineteenth-century trailblazers like Elizabeth Caddy Stanton and Rose Scott would no doubt be fiercely proud of the “new age” reality of today’s women, overcoming entrenched discrimination, exploring the far-flung boundaries of our identities and soaring unfathomed heights. According to Fortune, 44 female chief executives lead America’s largest companies, accounting for 8.8% of businesses on the 2022 Fortune 500 list. So with that, how does our 21st century “new age” gender paradigm define how we see ourselves as women, in contrast to that of our predecessors?

While we as women won our right to vote, to tackle male-dominated vocations and industries, to climb the corporate ladder, and to assume leadership positions, those “career women” who answer the call of ambition simultaneously saw, and continue to see, their traditional roles as daughters, mothers and wives hit with their own set of challenges. Can we successfully keep the home fires burning whilst continuing to perform, and progress in the workplace? Can we maintain healthy social lives, fruitful friendships, a balanced body and mind, personal hobbies and healthy romantic relationships, all the while catering to our children’s practical and emotional needs? It is the fulfilment of each of these largely inward expectations that define the quest of the “new age” woman.

Summoning an opinion on the subject from my varied friendship group, there is a consensus that while society has become easier on us, we may have become harder on ourselves. Talking from common experience (as this is the only space I should share my opinion) – coupled friends with careers and children point to what can be described as a largely unconscious mission to excel as a wife, partner and mother, whilst also excelling on the job front. Throw in the often unspoken internal pressures to concurrently perform as the ideal friend, sister, daughter, chauffeur, cleaner, chef, shoulder to cry on – then add employee, entrepreneur or CEO and the cauldron comes to overflow.

Knowing how the females close to me think, it’s not surprising that studies suggest men aren’t nearly as harsh on themselves when it comes to personal expectations of their personal and professional KPIs. A US survey in 2009 found that women are also more likely than men to experience feelings of inadequacy at home and at work, and a larger proportion felt they failed to meet their own high standards.

When speaking with our Consumer Director at Atteline, Malaika Fernandes, she said: “As a woman growing into a new role at the workplace, I am driven towards giving my very best and fulfilling my ambitions. At the same time, I cherish and enjoy the time I spend with my family and pursuing other hobbies. The journey so far has taught me that while I am accountable to my team, clients and professional goals, I also need to hold myself accountable for ensuring time away from work and creating time for personal priorities. Being in the business of communications, I’ve understood how important it is to communicate my needs whether at the workplace or at home. Not taking a minute for granted, I aim to be polite and respectful when communicating, but also clear and direct about my needs. As Brene Brown says, “clear is kind”, and this helps me navigate the ups and downs, highs and lows of being a “new age woman”.

Reinforcing this, the Institute of Leadership and Management found half of the female managers, compared with fewer than a third of the male ones, reported self-doubt in their performance. An internal survey of women working at Hewlett-Packard also found women applied for a promotion only when they met 100% of the qualifications. Men applied when they met just 50%. So it seems that despite how far we have come, we as women are still held back by our own unspoken expectations of what it means to be a woman.

Well, I have my own ideas about what that means for me.

I show up to work, and when I’m there I work hard. I listen, I motivate my team, I give my full energy and attention to my employees and I focus on my career and the growth of the company. When I am at home, I’m with my children. We play, sing (badly!), go for walks, swimming lessons, and read books. I leave any non-urgent work matters inside my phone and ask my wonderful colleagues for an hour of uninterrupted time with no meetings or calls from 6 to 7 pm for bath, stories and bedtime (I take this as my lunch break).

With offices in Manila and Dubai, and clients spanning the globe, there are times I must be on calls at strange hours across international time zones, yet more challenging is the necessity to be travelling on international flights every few weeks for work. When times are busy, I am extremely lucky to have our long-standing nanny who is able to step in and support my husband with the children while I take care of my business commitments. When I eat into my time with them, I am riddled with guilt, yet at the same time, I am reminded of what my mother would always say – you are being a role model too, and we all do this in our own way and within our own means.

When the day is done, I put my feet up and watch a TV show, or if I’m not so tired I could fall asleep as my head hits the pillow – I do my best to relax into a book (I wish I was more disciplined about this and often find myself on my phone). I have downloaded the Financial Times app in the hope that when I catch myself doing this, I am at least reading in some capacity and not mindlessly scrolling through emails and pending WhatsApp messages, thinking about the next things on my ‘to-do’ list.

Well no, I’m not perfect, and more often than not I can’t do it all in a day. This is why I feel immensely grateful to be in the position to have the support of my husband and loved ones, and one incredible nanny who helps me run the household like a tight ship and truly is a part of the family. Do I wish I could say I could manage it all independently, and do it all brilliantly? Well in fact, no. Because while I’m a perfectionist, I’m also a realist, and I am kind to myself, and I have made personal choices that allow me to balance my life in the way that best serves me as a passionate working mother.

At the end of the day, we can’t be everything all at once, and we can’t do it all. I once asked my mother “how did you run an organization with hundreds of employees and take it public, and be a mother to twins whilst managing companies all over the globe? How did you do it all?” In the most matter-of-fact way that only my mother could deliver, she responded “don’t be ridiculous Sophie, you can’t have it all. Enjoy the incredible privilege of being a woman who can have babies, and keep chipping away at your dreams and passions with all the support of your loved ones.” It is my opinion as a “new age” woman, that in pursuing our dreams we find excitement, in striking a balance we find satisfaction, and in relishing the simplest things, we find joy. And that magic formula is unique to every one of us.

 

Words by: Sophie Simpson – Founder & Managing Director,  Atteline